Results from December 9, 2005 – Valleyfield, Quebec
An exhibition match opened the show, in which “Saint” Stephen Elias successfully defended his JPW title in a 3 way against Guyver and “World Renowned” Steve Brown.
Moohammad the Terrorist Cow and Beast defeated Flip D. Berger and Stinky the Homeless Guy, when Moohammad forced Stinky to tap out to “cattle mutilation.” Scheduled to be a singles meeting between Flip and the Cow, Moohammad claimed Flip wasn’t worthy of a one on one encounter – and suggested he find a partner. The McDork headed backstage, and when he asked if anyone would be his partner – he was met with a simultaneous “NO” from most of the roster. He then headed outside, where he spotted a homeless man – holding a “Will Wrestle For Food” sign, and the tag match was on.
In 6 man comedy action – The Nintendorks defeated Thundercock. Ending saw Uno pin Link after a version of John Cena’s “FU.” His partners, Double Dragon, took offense in the fact that his “FU” was “too nice.” They then attacked Uno, and quit the promotion. They haven’t been seen since.
Fred La Merveille beat Twiggy. Post match, Twiggy received a Christmas gift – sent from ISW owner Mike Rotch. He opened it up, and was quite happy to find albums from two of his favourite bands – Rush and April Wine – on cassette. He then randomly hugged ring announcer Michael Llakor.
Gorelust’s undead army defeated Viking, after the reanimated corpse of Helga – Queen of the Sea World entered the ring to assist them. She now goes by the oh-so-cool name of “HELLga.”
Beef Wellington jumpkicked Pipe to death, after he interrupted his lifetime achievement ceremony. Inter Species Wrestling honoured Beef for bringing man vs. animal matches into the forefront of professional wrestling. We gave him a cake.
Kid Kamikaze was victorious in the first ever Kid Kamikaze Invitational. His opponents were Sexxxy Eddy, The Amazing Darkstone, and a fella named Rip Impact.
“SuperStyle” Maxime Boyer defeated “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen in an incredibly physical match, that went all over.
In the main event, Damian defeated Bamboo in an all-out massacre. After scoring the 3 count, Damian grabbed the microphone and asked the crowd if they want him to kill the already endangered bear. They said “yes.” We said “no!!” He didn’t listen to us, though. He dragged the beaten bear up the stairs to the venue’s balcony, and continued his assault on the WWF (not that one) poster boy. He beat him mercilessly with chairs, as the ISW roster poured out of the entrance way – pleading for him to stop. Damian listened, as he halted the assault with the steel chair – and then threw the unconscious body of Bamboo off of the balcony, and onto the hard floor below. People cried. People screamed.
Bamboo died on January 1, 2006. Damian was suspended indefiniately.
DVD available at both www.smartmarkvideo.com, and www.fortunevideoediting.com